[[.blOggiE .]]
Thursday, October 06, 2005
y would anione sae tt uni life is much better than jc times?i juz dun understand.mabe i still can't adapt to the independent learning and depend too much on the spoonfeeding we used to hav in jc..i miss dose times, it seems so much fun and less stress than nw..nt tt uni life is nt fun..hall life is fun n happenings, juz tt, in uni, it's hard to find real truthful gd fren, even sher agree wif mi..it's so so hard to find someone hu can share all ur happiness and burden wif u..hw i wish i can go back to the jc times. Cum to tink of it nw, i dun mind having tests every wk, compared to nw, i hav no one to turn to when i hav prob, esp cum to studies..i rather b back in jc, where the tutors are so so so willing to help us students, hu are the ones wif strong passion in teachings..haiz..
for the lst time, i kinda miss home..mabe i wan to get away from all the stress, problems i'm facing here..i wana get back home, in the comfort of mi bed, n spend more time wif mi parents and mi bro, even nwadaes, though i went back everywkend, we hardly tok much..haiz..i miss dose times..when i spent most of mi times at home..haiz..
i had mi lst econ mcq test todae..n i nvr feel so stressed b4, until i had to went toliet twice to LS. It's the lst time i felt so nervous for a test..mabe coz, i had too high expectations of miself, since i studied econ in jc, i felt i shld do much much better, but i din..i felt so sad..i expect much better..i told mi mum, though she said, y so nervous?pass will do..but it won't do for mi..i felt..a pass in mi klass means u hav one of the lowest score in klass?..i felt so irritated wif miself sometimes, y everything seems so nt smoothly for mi?haiz..i hate miself for tt..whr has the organised ohm gone?haiz..
i'm sick of meetings liao..tml i hav 2 meetings..one is wif mi subcom meeting at 530 and another wif other hall polo capts meeting at 10 pm..wth..i feel so sick of dese..meetings..meetings..n more meetings..fri, i hav another meeting again..it juz drain mi mentally..haiz..
i hav alreadie tried mi best..but it's hard..so so hard..to give u up..past few daes, coz of the preparations of econ test keeping mi occupied..keep mi mind away from tinking of u..haiz..but after the test todae, i reallie hw much i miss u..hw much i miss dose times, i miss the times u pampered mi..i juz miss all tt..haiz..still,sometimes, i wonder if i reallie hate u or lyk u? hate u for giving mi so so much hope, making mi lyk u then letting mi dwn after i had foolishly walk into ur trap..haiz..i juz dunno wat mi mind is tinking..haiz..n i wonder wat u tinking too..haiz..still, i'll try mi best to give u up..i believe one dae, i'll b able to do it..it juz take time, it might take a vv vv vv long time..
will we b back to normal?i wonder...
Reminiscing stops at |2:55 AM|
